"You have no idea to the kind of things that people can get used to."
Well I suppose the following article is not gonna be applicable for the existentialists, or for everyone who feels he is his own master and derives his identity by choice than by chance or compulsion. Who am 'I' ? Sounds cliche, i realize that. Most of the times when we encounter a question which demands an explanation for 'I' we ignore it thinking that the answer lies perhaps in the realm of spirituality, or else the answer is explicable only in terms of experience and phenomena beyond the "Ordinary" human reach. Consequently everyone's has had a chance to manipulate the answer as per his/her benefit or will. However the questions still lies there , how does one identify himself. The problem with an identity is that the moment you begin to identify yourself with certain charecteristics , you basically have a choice to choose between that identity and some other. This choice thus nullifies the concept of identity, ie identity would be something eternal and not transient depoending on the person's choice. Thus every possible identity that we associate with ourselves gets squared out by this principle . So can we imply that we are all devoid of identities.
May be or May be not. I don't know.
However i stressed upon the point that the concept of identity would fall apart only in the awareness of the knowledge of the choice one possesses in terms of his/her identity. Most people we encounter, perhaps do not go so deep into analyzing that there's a principle within all of us which is manipulating our actions. This principle for some is a matter of choice whereas for most others is build up gradually and unconsciously thus taking away their power to choose.
Talking about these 'most', this is what becomes their identity, furtther building the foundations for their ego. Why do you think are we all so hesitant to change ? Coz their are circumstances and our reactions to them which have over time become the basis for identifying ourselvbes. You wanna destry a person, destroy the basis of his identity.
However the knowledge that such an idenity is a matter of one's own choice is what i believe can save one from this gross destruction of self and identity.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Fear As an Emotion
Article in Sunday Times- O-Zone by Vinita Dawra Nangia
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We are often warned not to push anyone into a corner because that is when they fight their best and most vicious battles . A good hunter will never force a wild animal in a situation from where it percieves no escape, the animal must feel there is still some escape route. Because it is when the animal loses hope of escape , that it will fight at its wildest and cause the worse harm.
A cornered creature man or animal is dangerous even vicious . For that is the point at which one loses all fear . You become fearless when you lose that which you value the most . Because when that happens , the rest really doesn't seem to matter as much . And you also realise the futility of having lived in fear of something that is now beyond reach.
You understand that you could possibly have been able to enjoy the finer intricacies of your object of desire much more if you hadn't lived in constant fear of losing it. When you lose it you see the futility of all the anxiety , the heartburn over it. You start looking for and find ways of living wothout it. And the human mind and spirit , amazingly resilient as they are discover reasons and conviction for why you are better off without that which is now lost.
And that is the point at which you start enjoying the positive aspects of fearlessness . For when you fear nothing , nobody can manipulate you anymore . You would be your own person and not dependent on anyone for your happiness or peace of mind .Your best bouts of courage are reserved for times when you have nothing to lose.
In ancient warfare , commanders would often burn the boats their army arrived in order to obliterate any threat of their soldiers turning tail and escaping. With their only means of retreat cut off , the only way to safety for the soldiers was to fight till victory or they would be literally fighting till death. That's how the phrase burning one's boats or burning one's bridges originated.
Most manipulations in relationships occur because we hand over the weapon of our fear to be used against us to those we love most. A lover is able to manipulate his beloved's emotions by threatening withdrawal of love and care. He will sulk , not talk or withdraw caring gestures - all the things that a loved one values . So you give in , bow to the will of the lover , and make compromises , all for fear of losing that which is cherished.
On the other hand if the lover overplays his hand and carries on the withdrawal act beyond a point , the beloved may finally get used to the idea of rejection and taking the loss as a fait accompli , lose all fear in the relationship.
Fear of losing leaves you impotent not just in relationships but also in everyday situations such as your work life , with friends or relatives and even with strangers . It extends beyond material things to prestige , respect , happiness , peace of mind , etc.
At work how often we let people get away with delivering shoddy work , doing an injustice to someone or cheating us just because we fear losing our peace of mind over an altercation! we allow incompetent people to underperform for fear of creating a situation and so losing our calm.
For courage is not just required for doing battle but also for maintaining a sense of calm , for making money , for living a good life - in short for everything . The fight or flight syndrome kicks in irrespective of the fact whether the thing we fear losing is physical , mental or a financial threat.
Those who can learn the trick of transcending this fear of loss , would find the courage to enjoy that which they love most while they still retain it. Says Dale Carnegie, "You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so . For remember , fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind."
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a)The article has beautifully described fear as an emotion and also the source of it. However since it argues its pont on the basis of facts{and goes on to show only one side of the picture} , it is very much probable to counter it with an alternate viewpoint, as in The loss of fear as an emotion occurs only when the person is convinced completely of the fact that there remains no other way. This conviction on part of the person is based on his knowledge of the circumstances , basically that it is relative and nothing absolute, so two different persons in the same situation with a different information set are to act differently, depending upon whether they believe that alternate ways of escape from the situation exist.
b)Secondly, it has also described emotions which are the result of Fear of Loss.
c)Thirdly , it describes how one practically makes use of this emotion to carry out one's objective, as studied in game theory.
d)Fourthly, it has differentiated between the emotions when there is a Fear of Loss and when there isn't.
e)Lastly, it emphasizes that the knowledge of the emotion of Fear of Loss gives him the ability to choose.
The article also describes that the possibility of a choice does not always strengthen one's position, as is evident by the examples in the above article for someone who has a choice between a difficult escape route(with no loss) and no escape (with a complete loss) , it is easier to manipulate someone in a dilemma unable to make the choice than someone who firmly stands for the choice he's made.
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[
We are often warned not to push anyone into a corner because that is when they fight their best and most vicious battles . A good hunter will never force a wild animal in a situation from where it percieves no escape, the animal must feel there is still some escape route. Because it is when the animal loses hope of escape , that it will fight at its wildest and cause the worse harm.
A cornered creature man or animal is dangerous even vicious . For that is the point at which one loses all fear . You become fearless when you lose that which you value the most . Because when that happens , the rest really doesn't seem to matter as much . And you also realise the futility of having lived in fear of something that is now beyond reach.
You understand that you could possibly have been able to enjoy the finer intricacies of your object of desire much more if you hadn't lived in constant fear of losing it. When you lose it you see the futility of all the anxiety , the heartburn over it. You start looking for and find ways of living wothout it. And the human mind and spirit , amazingly resilient as they are discover reasons and conviction for why you are better off without that which is now lost.
And that is the point at which you start enjoying the positive aspects of fearlessness . For when you fear nothing , nobody can manipulate you anymore . You would be your own person and not dependent on anyone for your happiness or peace of mind .Your best bouts of courage are reserved for times when you have nothing to lose.
In ancient warfare , commanders would often burn the boats their army arrived in order to obliterate any threat of their soldiers turning tail and escaping. With their only means of retreat cut off , the only way to safety for the soldiers was to fight till victory or they would be literally fighting till death. That's how the phrase burning one's boats or burning one's bridges originated.
Most manipulations in relationships occur because we hand over the weapon of our fear to be used against us to those we love most. A lover is able to manipulate his beloved's emotions by threatening withdrawal of love and care. He will sulk , not talk or withdraw caring gestures - all the things that a loved one values . So you give in , bow to the will of the lover , and make compromises , all for fear of losing that which is cherished.
On the other hand if the lover overplays his hand and carries on the withdrawal act beyond a point , the beloved may finally get used to the idea of rejection and taking the loss as a fait accompli , lose all fear in the relationship.
Fear of losing leaves you impotent not just in relationships but also in everyday situations such as your work life , with friends or relatives and even with strangers . It extends beyond material things to prestige , respect , happiness , peace of mind , etc.
At work how often we let people get away with delivering shoddy work , doing an injustice to someone or cheating us just because we fear losing our peace of mind over an altercation! we allow incompetent people to underperform for fear of creating a situation and so losing our calm.
For courage is not just required for doing battle but also for maintaining a sense of calm , for making money , for living a good life - in short for everything . The fight or flight syndrome kicks in irrespective of the fact whether the thing we fear losing is physical , mental or a financial threat.
Those who can learn the trick of transcending this fear of loss , would find the courage to enjoy that which they love most while they still retain it. Says Dale Carnegie, "You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so . For remember , fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind."
]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
a)The article has beautifully described fear as an emotion and also the source of it. However since it argues its pont on the basis of facts{and goes on to show only one side of the picture} , it is very much probable to counter it with an alternate viewpoint, as in The loss of fear as an emotion occurs only when the person is convinced completely of the fact that there remains no other way. This conviction on part of the person is based on his knowledge of the circumstances , basically that it is relative and nothing absolute, so two different persons in the same situation with a different information set are to act differently, depending upon whether they believe that alternate ways of escape from the situation exist.
b)Secondly, it has also described emotions which are the result of Fear of Loss.
c)Thirdly , it describes how one practically makes use of this emotion to carry out one's objective, as studied in game theory.
d)Fourthly, it has differentiated between the emotions when there is a Fear of Loss and when there isn't.
e)Lastly, it emphasizes that the knowledge of the emotion of Fear of Loss gives him the ability to choose.
The article also describes that the possibility of a choice does not always strengthen one's position, as is evident by the examples in the above article for someone who has a choice between a difficult escape route(with no loss) and no escape (with a complete loss) , it is easier to manipulate someone in a dilemma unable to make the choice than someone who firmly stands for the choice he's made.
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